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 Long, slick jet black hair neatly coiffured to reveal a fine, menacing face. Glistening blue-green eyes, set appealingly within their sockets, looking impatiently over the crowd she's been ordered to look elegantly. Fair skin beautifully compliments her cheekbones and sets a seductive yet intimidating aura around her. This is the face of Illyana, a true vindicator among colleagues. She stands towering among others, despite her slim frame. There's something bewildering about her, perhaps it's her captivating physique or perhaps it's simply how mysterious she reveals herself. But nonetheless, people tend to be curious about her, while hoping to one day follow in her footsteps.

Continuous flashes of blinding lights aggressively glared upon her eyes as she situated her figure to match every single beat of the music in the room. The clicks of the cameras were ceaseless as if they weren't going to stop. Illyana, now under a new pressure and exposure, felt nothing but drained for the whole time the agency gave them to adjust to their new personas. 3 months of careful documentation of their identities were surprisingly more exhausting than all of the physical training they had gone through. Although they have the luxury of changing identities, they still had to commit to it as if the roles they were playing were actual people. ⠀⠀

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⠀⠀〝⠀You need to tidy yourself up Illyana, your time for being a cry baby is done so get over it and smile for the camera⠀〞⠀

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Much to her dismay, Illyana was forced to go through casting calls and literally play the role of the supermodel. She went on months of enduring severe drama and other controversies correlating to that particularly industry. It was easier to ponder on that type of stuff rather than dealing with life-threatening situations but she's better off with the latter. She wasn't much of the usual person than of the normal person she was molded into. She's not used to extravagance and she will never be.

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Aside from the modelling job, Illyana has gone to do her own research and investigation. She gained access to his records and the police report, she was doing what private investigator would do but she did that without permission, and it is not tolerated in their agency but she couldn't help but take matters into her own hands. She will definitely face consequences if she was caught but she was willing to the risk. So far, she's got 2 leads with, unfortunately, low potentials. More resources and effort might get her somewhere and she needs to act now.

It was past 9 when Illyana got home from another photo-shoot, she was tired and drained from the unending cycle and routine she has for the next three weeks. She then carelessly went to her room and slept through the night. 

Illyana woke up from a knocking in her window, there was no one but the sound continue to grow louder and louder, all of the sudden her surroundings started to change, she was in a valley with no lights and darkness nearly engulfed her. She was running and running but it never ceased chasing her. She tried taking right and left turns but whenever she looked behind her, her shadows appeared, creating uncanny noises chanting a phrase again and again and again.

"Why did you left?"

"You never came back" 

"Illyana help me"

"Illyana the fire, I caught fire Illyana"

"Don’t you love me Illyana?"

The shadow was near her, she was ready to stop running but then she woke up with tears in her eyes. She's too terrified, then she looked through the mirror and saw her reflection with tears escaping from her gloomy and swollen eyes. It was almost midnight when she woke up, a drastic dream once again, the 13th time she woke up running away from her own shadow, running away from her own guilt and unforgetful past. Those dreams were always the same, and when every time she sleeps, it never been so peaceful and quite. Illyana has thought of drinking pills to help with the bad dreams but she scared that something may happen when she’s fast asleep.

After that dreadful dream Illyana didn’t go back to her sleep, because she was afraid of witnessing that shadows and hearing his screams. She decided to take the morning jog earlier than her schedule so that her time would be productive and her mind would shake off that dream. On her way home she saw the church and she decided to go inside she then kneeled by the chair closest to the church altar, tongue speaking of all the sins she have committed. She prayed for mercy and forgiveness to lessen the pain she's into. Then she saw a guy walking near her and kneeled beside her. 

The guy next to her quietly murmurs: "Don't bother." Astonished, she asked why wondering what he was referring to. Then the man looked at her and said "Because your pleads won’t make him comeback" he replied and left her hanged with static thoughts.

The concept of death still overwhelms and frustrates Illyana in a way that she couldn't comprehend. She was definitely no stranger to loss nor will she ever be. She have lost so many important people in her life— people who she planned spending her life with, and much to her dismay, nothing could ever change that. She have no choice but to accept all of it. Those people will remain only in her heart now. She was undecided whether she should take that whole-heartedly or with a hint of anger. She don’t know. She was tired of feeling any form of bitterness or contempt.

As a lot would know, the process of grief comes after loss. Right after his funeral, the people and the world grieved over the person who gave up their lives for actual people who were dusted— like her. The feelings are odd and incomprehensible. Illyana think no one could ever point out how severe everything was after it happened. The process of grief never left the system for quite some time— having the whole world constantly reminding her of what she had lost, it was never easy. 

However victorious, the events left everyone in torment. Each day more painful than the last. Coping up was hard for everyone. As much she hate saying it— she still get nightmares from this. The devastation is nearly impossible not to remember. The feelings of guilt, fear, anger and sorrow balled into one was shattering enough to have herself be incapable of doing anything good. Illyana was left unstable and a wreck. Like most but they’re just great at hiding it. She too has tried her best to hide that but sometimes, it’s too impossible. The guilt, that she shouldn’t even carry, haunts her every night. He could’ve used help and if she knew better, he wouldn’t be gone and she could’ve done something.

Healing took time. It took Illyana 2 years to finally say that she was healed. But she kept asking that is she really healed? She thinks that when you experienced pain and loss too much, you get better at responding to them. Especially death. She know that she can never grasp the concept of death and its selfishness but by allowing herself to feel what she should’ve and not just guilt all together, she became considerate. As of now, the whole world is slowly coming back to its pace and so as she. People would often console her whenever she have a hard time after remembering what happened to him, but of course not all people would try to talk to her rather they would avoid her. Illyana never forgot about them. Who could have? Up to this day, he is the still the person that she has promised to be with. 

There’s not a day that Illyana won’t hear a people talking behind her back, gossiping and telling how unfortunate that he died. Little did they know she has also blamed herself that she was the one that supposed to die not him. Every day she pay her sins, with every close of her eyes she would always saw the scenes flashes through her eyes and slowly stopping the moment the car blew up. Illyana thought that she was to be blamed for it, that’s what people say behind those consoling words. That was her car and that bomb was meant for her not for him.

"Illyana, you need to let go and not blame yourself for what has happened" 

Dr. Petriev looked at Illyana with worried eyes and sadness, he knew the Illyana has been storing those emotions and pent up grieve since the day of the accident. He was the doctor to help her, yet the person needing his help is nowhere near their sanity. 

"I should’ve come back for him that time"

Illyana was frustrated, she didn’t have enough sleep for the dreams kept worsening and worsening, she was afraid to fall asleep, she was afraid to see his face burning, it was a scene he never wanted to see but her dreams kept torturing her and making her see that. 

Dr. Petrieve knew what was happening, Illyana has suffered tremendous loss and grief and now her guilt is eating her, but she wasn’t supposed to be. She was suffering from PTSD, that traumatic experience left a scar in her brain and it led to this. He knew that he should do everything to bring back that child’s beautiful smile and laugh, but Illyana wasn’t ready to face the reality, she wasn’t ready to the truth that it was not her fault and her life must go on. Looking at Illyana he knew that any medicine won’t help rather than making her realize that it’s not her fault.

"Illyana, look at me. See this? I want this back, I know you wanted too but you think you can’t, but I’m telling you, you can still bring this girl back"

Dr. Petrieve was holding a picture of Illyana smiling beautifully, it was the picture Liam took before he died and he knew that this picture would wake Illyana up.

Illyana was staring endlessly at the photo Dr. Petrieve was holding, it was the photo he took before the accident. She remembered that he told her that he love every time she smiles, and that her smiles would always brighten someone’s day. Thinking that Illyana smiled sadly at Dr. Petrieve, she knew that everything the doctor said was correct and the only thing that can help her relieve those sleepless nights and horrifying nightmares, was herself. That she needed to move forward and not look back.

Liam would always be in her heart and in her mind, but she knew that Liam’s story has reached its last chapter, but her story has not reached it ending yet and by that she know that she must continue her journey to make herself proud and Liam too. It was a new beginning for her and she was ready for it.